Scratching Shed Publishing

Ever wondered what happened to one-of-a-kind comedian Phil Cool?

Well now you can find out, as told by the man himself…

Young Mick, next door, played drums and bagpipes. Separately, of course, but it still annoyed our neighbours. He’d say stuff like: ‘I’m quitting my band. They’re a bunch of big-heads; not one of them is as talented as I am.’

Then one day, in the early 1970s, he said something sensible. ‘Phil, if you don’t start doing proper gigs now, you’ll be too old and it won’t happen.’ So I made a decision to get serious, leave my job and make the transition from wage to stage. By 1985, after playing every dive in the UK, I’d honed a few hours of decent stand-up and landed a series on BBC2. Game-changer. After that I landed another, which won a Royal Television Award for originality.

A third series, a special and two ITV series followed. In the late 1980s and early 1990s the phone didn’t stop ringing; my memorable face was everywhere. I had realised a dream. Then, as far as most viewers knew, I all but vanished. It’s true big theatres progressively grew smaller, but in fact I carried on walking the boards until my retirement, aged 65.

I am now 76. So here’s the book. I think you’ll like it. For a fair price, you get the head … the tale … the whole damn thing.

by Lee Stuart Evans

The late 1980s.

Robin dreams of becoming Jim Kerr, singer in the best band in the world, Simple Minds, despite having no talent whatsoever.

Fliss is a musical genius, perhaps the East Midlands’ answer to Kate Bush, if only she had more confidence.

Until rock stardom inevitably descends upon him, Robin takes a job at the local garage, where for the first time in his life he finds a sense of purpose; while Fliss, pushed by her mother, reluctantly auditions for TV’s biggest talent show and proves an instant hit.

When dozens of fast cars are stolen, old mechanic Vern recruits Robin to help him investigate suspicious goings-on at a derelict railway yard on the edge of Sherwood Forest.

It’s all a bit of a lark until somebody gets killed and Robin and Fliss find themselves entangled in a police investigation.

But does death mean the end of their romantic and musical dreams, or is it only just the beginning?

‘Alive and kicking with big laughs and an even bigger heart…’ – Patrick Kielty

‘My favourite funny writer…’ – Harry Hill

by John Beckett

The accepted view of the acquisition of the land that became Headingley Stadium – the preeminent sporting venue in England at the time – is that it was bought at an auction of the Cardigan Estates in 1888. Former history teacher and legal expert John Beckett examines the evidence and context of events to come up with an alternative explanation.

A Memoir – by Richard Hines

Richard Hines seemed destined for a life without academic achievement until he read TH White’s The Goshawk. And having then borrowed another falconry book from the library, he began to train Kes, the kestrel he found nesting in 16th-century ruins.

Thus, as a teenager, began an obsession with hawks and a love of nature that – along with meeting his art student wife Jackie – took him in new directions… deputy head teacher, documentary maker, independent producer for the BBC and Channel 4, and university lecturer and writer among them.

Richard’s schoolboy experiences and love of hawks inspired older brother Barry to write A Kestrel for a Knave, a novel that was soon turned into the much-loved and truly iconic 1969 film Kes, directed by Ken Loach.

In 2016, the brothers’ upbringing in Hoyland Common, South Yorkshire, were turned by Richard into a factual book of his own: No Way but Gentlenesse: A Memoir of How Kes, My Kestrel, Changed My Life.

But time moves on. Richard and Jackie are these days grandparents – and about to pull up their Yorkshire roots to live near their now grown-up son, daughter and granddaughter in Hove on the Sussex coast.

 Will their heritage let them go?

“Richard communicates his passion for the landscape of his home town with great warmth…” – Ken Loach

A Funny – and Tragic – Memoir of Life in the Met

by Paul Byrne

Paul Byrne joined London’s Metropolitan Police by mistake. By day a Detective Inspector, by night a stand-up comedian, this is a memoir of law enforcement not exactly going to plan. DI Byrne walked a tightrope of death, destruction and disaster, much of it caused by himself. From a near-death experience at the hands of the Australian SAS to causing a diplomatic incident with North Korea, it was a hell of a ride. Yet sucked into a dark and troubling whirlpool of police corruption, eventually he would be forced out of the service a broken man. Paul remains the only serving police officer to be mugged on duty – and the only one to be sacked for writing satire. His story shines an amusing, and at times horrifying, light into the darkest corners of Britain’s largest police force.

“A fascinating account – full of tragic and hilarious stories shot through with Byrne’s wonderful appreciation of the absurdity of life…” – ARTHUR SMITH